she knows.

nataliedee.com
again, awesome.

in related news, my family makes me want to drink acid.

bakery

bakery1, originally uploaded by The Bleeding Heart Bakery.

i didnt take this photo.

so, that last entry was a downer, huh? i'm a little better, things will be fine. hooray!

the photo - that's the bleeding heart bakery at belmont and damen, which i have never been to but have read about it since it opened a few months ago and am quietly (okay, maybe not so quietly) obsessed with it. each week they develop a cupcake based on the top chef winning meal. i mean, how is this not the greatest place ever? AND LOOK AT ALL THAT MOTHERFUCKING CAKE.

it's sorta walking distance, so i think i may go there on thursday. to congratulate myself on my job interview and getting said job. time to be positive, right? yea, i have a job interview. i am completely and totally qualified, i just need to CHARM THEIR PANTS OFF. or i will resort to working at borders. which really wouldn't be that bad, actually.

oh, and hey peeps. anyone know a bar that would hire me as a bartender. man, i want to be a bartender. i know about lots of booze!

...damn

, originally uploaded by yenna.

i've grown a habit of leaving work 15 minutes early, taking the el in the opposite direction, walking to union station and sitting on a metra for an hour along with business men and women. well, you know i love trains. you didn't? oh i do. not really the el, but commuter rail such as metra and lirr. especially amtrak. wow, amtrak is so the best. one day when i am rich i want to take an amtrak ride in a sleeper car across the country. because oh my god, how great would that be.

but, besides my train love, i went to see andy for he lives in the burbs and we had some mini golfing to do. god lord, how much do i suck at mini golf. but! i got a hole-in-one on the first hole! proceeded to FAIL for the remaining 17 holes though. bummer. i only get to see andy twice a week, or so and each time it's the greatest night evah! i adore him, you know. and i really haven't been happier.

but don't worry, this isn't another andy entry. i will never become one of those girls who just talks about her boyfriend 24/7. the point is that, while i am sosososohappy in that respect, the rest of my life is completely shattered and falling apart. and i feel like i am drowning!!! you know,SAME OLD GENA.

i know life isn't supposed to be easy and all that nonsense, but i was feeling like maybe i was FINALLY getting pad back for all of the heartache and scandal and badness i've been put through in the past. apparently no. still no real job, and i am completely drowning in debt. the economy is flat lining and prices are going up. for EVERYTHING. and i can't afford it. i cant afford anything i can't afford to pay a 4 year old credit card bill let alone for a bag of cat food and wow. i just want to die. but i will get through it. and i hope soon i will have a new job. i pray and pray that soon i will have a new job. i just wish it could be time for my life to go right, rather than sort of right, but mostly wrong.

fortune

as i made widely known to anyone who would listen, i had a shitty birthday this year. birthdays, in general, are shitty. my own, at least. i don't like getting older, i don't like being forced to do SOMETHING and then usually don't and feel even worse about myself.

on my birthday this year i painted my office and watched law and order: svu and ate a crazy amount of bad chinese food. after gorging, i celebrated with a fortune cookie and received the above slip of paper. i felt like maybe it was significant, and if not, it'd serve for good fodder and i counted three months ahead (april 8th) and glued the fortune.

i had forgotten all about this. and, being irresponsible and lazy, didn't turn my calender from march to april until the 9th. probably for the best, really. i would have jinxed myself in some way had i known this was some apparent omen. the thing is... it was. i'm not one to get all swoon-y and lalala about a boy. in public, at least. but that was the day i realized that this boy was special. the specialest, perhaps? MAYHAPS. when i received the fortune on that cold day, i laughed at it because good things are never, ever in store for me but, you know, who would have guessed.

substance

oh! hey! i went to my first cubs game last week!

i had been the a sox game and enjoyed that very much but, you know, living on the northside, less than a mile from wrigley field... i always felt like such a traitor for never stepping foot into the actual place. andy got increddddible tickets behind home base and we watched a really close game between the astros and cubs. though.. of course... they lost. and after a couple of hours we became popsicles as it was only 45 degrees and our seats were in the shade. but still, totally great! what's not to like about basbell, beer, brats and a boy? mirite.

so, my new years resolution that wasn't really a resolution because that's cliche and lame, was to get out of my apartment more and try to rebuild my social life that went so flat last year. i've actually kind of stuck to it, which i am proud of. i have this awesome group of friends to add to the already awesome group of friends and i haven't even had my usual "MAN I HATE EVERYONE" breakdown that i had, you know, every weekend.

okay, well maybe i had a small one last weekend. that doesn't count.

also, i've stepped on the scale and am now down 18 pounds. that makes me feel ... i dont even know! (i only mention it again because i got above the big number i wanted to get above so now i am all wheeee!) and i still pretty much look the same, i think. but thats becuas ei look at myself every day. maybe i look stunningly thin and attractive to people who haven't seen me in ages. heh, yea i bet.

so, with the strive to get healthier, and the great friends and new handsome and brilliant boyfriend, i have tackled a lot of problems and am so very ecstatic in my social life and with my personal self.. now i just need a new job. that's all i need. a REAL job where i get paid REAL money and doesn't make me want to take a REAL knife and put it in my REAL ear.

pretty.

cross posted from the tumblr, somewhat.

my friend billy saw this painting and thought maybe i should see it.... wonder why.



WHAT THE FUCK WHY IS SOME CUBAN DUDE PAINTING MY FACE EVERYWHERE.

fatty

4, originally uploaded by yenna.

a few years ago i bought a nordic track from a nice soccer mom from rogers park. it was cheap, she delivered it to me, i used it once in a while. tehre was a month or so where i ran 3 miles every day. i also went crazy that month, though there is no correlation. but, since then, for the most part, the nordic track has been widely ignored, sitting in my office, waiting for its day of glory.

since february 2008, i've been fairly regular with it's usage. running every other day or so 2 - 4 miles, depending on how i'm feeling. starting off with a good quick run (7 mins) and then a quick walk/ fast run. it's going fairly well, i suppose. since i've started i've lsot 15 pounds. or 10 pounds. somewhere in between, because it all fluctuates depending on what girl time it is. being a girl sucks...

i've been eating better too. by better i mean less. and i try to stay away from various delicious fried potato products but my god, potatoes are so delicious. unfortunately, i have reached my plateau and havent really lost anything recently and am kind of just staying a pound or two above or below this one dumb number.

i feel great, but none of my pants fit. i mean, they never really fit because i have no hips and i could never walk more than 25 feet without having to pull said pants up, but especially now. it's just frustrating... because i'm working hard and see nothing, really. but i will eventually!

i also bought the nike+ for my nano but it doesnt really want to work with my set up and i'm going to start runnhing outdoors now. SCARY. DO NOT WANT. but i'm told it's not as awful as i fear... though i will miss running while watching olbermann or scrubs and listening to lcd soundsystem (srsly best band to run to).