...damn

, originally uploaded by yenna.

i've grown a habit of leaving work 15 minutes early, taking the el in the opposite direction, walking to union station and sitting on a metra for an hour along with business men and women. well, you know i love trains. you didn't? oh i do. not really the el, but commuter rail such as metra and lirr. especially amtrak. wow, amtrak is so the best. one day when i am rich i want to take an amtrak ride in a sleeper car across the country. because oh my god, how great would that be.

but, besides my train love, i went to see andy for he lives in the burbs and we had some mini golfing to do. god lord, how much do i suck at mini golf. but! i got a hole-in-one on the first hole! proceeded to FAIL for the remaining 17 holes though. bummer. i only get to see andy twice a week, or so and each time it's the greatest night evah! i adore him, you know. and i really haven't been happier.

but don't worry, this isn't another andy entry. i will never become one of those girls who just talks about her boyfriend 24/7. the point is that, while i am sosososohappy in that respect, the rest of my life is completely shattered and falling apart. and i feel like i am drowning!!! you know,SAME OLD GENA.

i know life isn't supposed to be easy and all that nonsense, but i was feeling like maybe i was FINALLY getting pad back for all of the heartache and scandal and badness i've been put through in the past. apparently no. still no real job, and i am completely drowning in debt. the economy is flat lining and prices are going up. for EVERYTHING. and i can't afford it. i cant afford anything i can't afford to pay a 4 year old credit card bill let alone for a bag of cat food and wow. i just want to die. but i will get through it. and i hope soon i will have a new job. i pray and pray that soon i will have a new job. i just wish it could be time for my life to go right, rather than sort of right, but mostly wrong.